There are times when being alone is ideal

River 1

Can spending time alone amongst nature be healing? Can spending time in nature be a spiritual experience? Yes, on both counts.

I was a bit apprehensive about swimming in the river on my own. But at the same time, I was overjoyed that I was on my own. Nature at its most beautiful: a mountain stream, crystal clear, deep, lined by boulders and trees. No man-made sound, no buildings, not even any rubbish. And no other people. Idyllic.

Carefully, I slid into the water, swam to the other side of the river, and sat in shallows above the rapids. Nature chatted amongst itself, with the babbling of the stream a soothing chorus backed by the swishing of eucalypt and she-oak canopy. Occasionally, a bird would add to the song with a musical call. Harmony.

River 3

I lay back watching clouds float by, letting the water trickle over and around me. The sunshine was pleasant. The water was fresh and cool. Mountains upstream towered over the narrow valley. It was a stunning scene, and I was filled with gratitude for my stunning surroundings and the opportunity to immerse myself in Mother Earth’s beauty. Solitude.

At one with nature.

If I’d had to share the experience with a companion, or if strangers were also using the river at that time, the moment would have been something different, not as special, and I would not have been so profoundly touched by the spirit of nature. Often times, experiences are best had alone, and this was one such venture. Bliss.

A soulful experience

River 2

Once-in-a-lifetime friendship

Early morning light paddock dam reflections

To find one person in a lifetime who genuinely understands you deep to your core, totally accepts you for the unique individual you are, and loves you unconditionally, well, you’ve really hit the jackpot. A blessing and gift beyond imagination.

People come and go throughout our lives, even family, and that’s the way it’s meant to be. We don’t meet people accidentally or by ‘coincidence’. Every person in our life is placed on our path for a reason, be it to learn from or to teach, to love us or hurt us, to open our mind or our eyes, to encourage us to question or to discover. And more. We draw these souls to us with the energy we emit and the quality of humanity we exemplify.

I believe our souls choose our family and birth circumstances before reincarnation so that we are placed in a situation and family that will best teach us the soul lessons we need to learn. The worse our birth/family situation is, the better opportunity we have to reap the rewards from the lessons we will be presented with. Nothing comes from an easy ride.

Sometimes we feel the need to leave family members behind, just as we do with friends or lovers, because that relationship has deteriorated beyond repair, and we realise it’s time to let go and move on. Don’t resist this need. It is meant to be. The real tragedy lies, not in the breaking of the union, but in not being open and accepting of the lessons offered by these people who are now also ready to move on.

I have a precious relationship with my daughter. We have a soul connection that is stunning in its strength. It has not always been like this, but as each of us came out the other side of trauma and grew from the challenges that our souls took on individually, we discovered who we were. And we discovered each other.

We’re both aware of this special bond that goes far beyond family ties, and we both nurture our relationship. Our connection transcends all, and we are truly each other’s saviour in times of need. I am so grateful that the Universe has gifted me with this friendship.

Sometimes I also yearn for a friend who is on that same frequency but more my own age. I haven’t found her. I may never find her. But I am living my life in a manner whereby I am open to our energy drawing us together. Meanwhile, I feel blessed beyond words.

It is my hope that every person can make a soul connection as profoundly rich as I have. But be aware that it won’t happen unless you are prepared to go outside of your comfort zone, be open to new knowledge and experiences, and be willing to nurture this relationship like the precious connection of soul energy it is.

Ritual circle paddock early morning light sunrise


Travelling – The beach of the balancing stones

Balancing stones beach cairns 1

It’s like the peace hidden and lying in wait in every person’s heart has emerged, just for a few moments. I wonder if they felt it? And I wonder if they experienced a connection with the other travellers they wandered amongst? And I wonder if any person leaving the beach was changed forever?

There are no directional signs, and it’s not an official tourist attraction, yet the beach is obviously visited by thousands of travellers who contribute to the impromptu art. Balancing towers of rocks and stones against a backdrop of tropical ocean, on the road from Port Douglas in far north Queensland to Cairns. I guess it’s rather unique.

Just picture: all cultures, all religions and all faiths, all political persuasions, all sexual orientations, and a full spectrum of social standings mingling, admiring, and feeling part of something simple that is also something special. And knowing that this simple natural expression of cross-cultural creativity is special. Boundaries have been crossed and walls have come down, and everyone is part of a whole. There are no officials telling dark-skinned people to go there or rich people to go here or heterosexuals to go there. Every person is equal and one with everyone else. A celebration of humanity. That’s how the world should be.

I’m disappointed to find, a few months later, that most of the stone stacks are gone. It doesn’t appear to be an act of wanton destruction by humans, but rather, I think Mother Earth has claimed the stones with boisterous stormy seas. More towers of balancing stones are starting replace those washed away, and I hope the process will be repeated so that people from all over the world and from all walks of life can once again leave their positive energy and creativity for all to enjoy.

I sat on the beach this morning amongst the new art pieces to write, imagining cultures mixing, and all going away with a smile in their hearts.

Balancing stones beach cairns 2


One way to help make the world a better place


There was a time when I thought the human race wasn’t worth anything. Our world in such a state of disconnection and discord – crimes against humanity, violation of our planet home, and local communities obsessed with ‘success’ at the cost of all else. Corporate greed, personal gratification, governmental corruption, ignorance and neglect at a family and neighbourhood level. Ethics of a gutter rat. Too grim to comprehend a future.

My darkest days were upon me. Mental ill-health ruled my life, and I sank into isolation. Wild creatures were my friends, my only friends – backyard birds, lizards and snakes, frogs and bugs. Any and all of Mother Nature’s animals that would allow me into their space. I all but gave up on people.

Although my love and appreciation of nature has not diminished, my hope for humanity has grown many-fold. Violence against humanity and Earth, on a global scale, if anything, has increased: terrorism, inequity, persecution, greed, materialism. BUT my thought processes and outlook have changed. My perspective is more grown up, more universal, more positive, more charitable. My view is holistic and comes from a place of love instead of a place of fear.

Despite the world’s massive and apparently irreparable woes, I can sense an undercurrent of goodness, of change, of connection that transcends nationality and social standing. There is an energy of universal love spreading through humanity, causing a shift in attitude.

The catalyst for this energy is self-love and self-compassion. Not a love that involves the ego, rather, a self-love that must replace self-loathing for any growth on a soul level to occur. We (you and me, the elderly crippled woman, the business man, the retiree, the janitor, the school teacher, the single parent, the barrister, the troubled youth, the  homeless, the refugees), we can help heal the wold ONLY if we can find the courage or develop the capacity to love ourselves and work on healing our OWN pain, our own past hurt and grief.

When we are able to accept our past ‘stories’ for the necessary and beneficial lessons that they have truly been, we are then able to heal and move forward. As this process begins, we begin to change, we become aware of who we are and why we’ve been where we’ve been, and why we’re here. And then we can not help but live from a place of love that inspires others and triggers a ripple effect of soul growth far and wide.

One seemingly insignificant individual who doesn’t have a spare dollar to give to those less fortunate than  him/herself, can help heal the world simply by living authentically and unashamedly from a place of love. And it is my unwavering belief that this is the REAL giving.

learning to love yourself is the best way to help heal the world

Souls connecting, then parting, but knowing it was enough

Sunset in flight

Generally when I fly, I choose a window seat, bury my head in a book and choose to be ignorant, feigning invisibility.

It’s not so much that I hate flying, it’s just my inability to tolerate sardine-can people-density, with no opportunity to change or control the situation. Smelly and highly perfumed people, noisy and totally inconsiderate passengers, kids kicking the back of your seat for 5 hours, squeezing down the far-too-narrow aisle to the toilet, and no space for simple circulation exercises. But possibly worst is the explosion of entangled energy prodding the sanctuary that is  me. I don’t handle being packed into a confined space with people en mass, elbow to elbow, with high and low frequencies of energy messing with my emotions.

But this trip was different. The Law of Attraction drew a like-soul to me. For the first time in my life I realised that it is possible to have a spontaneous, out-there, in-depth conversation with someone other than my daughter. I walked off the plane stunned that this had happened.

We talked for hours, comfortably, honestly, joyfully. Spirituality. Criminology. Photography. Writing. Nature. Relationships. Creativity. Connectivity.

Oh, and did I mention spirituality? How absolutely breathtakingly amazing to be able to talk to someone about our individual spiritual path with a depth of interest and understanding that I wasn’t sure existed our there. Rituals, choices, love and kindness, pain and lessons, challenges and growth. Peace. Dew drops, sunshine and gratitude.

Souls connecting, then parting, but knowing it was ENOUGH. Gratitude for the Universe sending me what I needed at the right time.

Age has nothing to do with happiness

Hunter Region Botanic Gardens

I’m 60, But what does that really mean? For me, it means that my children have flown the coup, it means that I have a new generation of children to love in my grand-children, it means I have fewer financial commitments and my everyday time constraints are relatively unimportant. And it also  means that I’ve had six decades for inner growth to instil awareness.

My life is not perfect and my health is not ideal. But I’m happy. Happiness does not come from perfect or ideal ANYTHING. Happiness is an energetic state of being, manifested from a feeling of love and gratitude. Happiness is a CHOICE. You can get out of bed in the morning and choose to be happy, or you can choose to be miserable.

I’m not sad or distressed in any way that my life is  now in it’s third and final trimester. No way. There is no point saying in hindsight that I’d have done things differently, because we are always where we should be to learn what our soul needs to learn. If I didn’t learn those lessons there, I’d have had to learn them somewhere equally unappealing. I’m happier more often and for longer periods and far deeper than I’ve ever been because my spiritual path has taken me inwards to discover the person I am. That person has developed the confidence and ability to love unconditionally.

Love is everything. I embrace the imperfections of my self and my life and the world at large as a giant chalk-board with messages and plans, questions and answers, dilemmas and challenges to be addressed with love and gratitude. Love will show me the way. LOVE is the ONLY way.

At 60, with silver hair and an ample waist, my passion for life is like that of a child, just considerably slower. I try new things, taste new foods, take on new challenges, love new people, go to new places, and think new thoughts. Age doesn’t matter. Love and kindness matters, and more than ever, I am aware of the power of love and kindness to heal my self, other people, and the world. I didn’t know this when I was a child, or a teenager, or even a middle-aged woman.

We all grow and change on a soul level at different rates. We all have our own path, and because my path has taken me places I didn’t want to go, and handed me pain I didn’t think I’d survive, I have grown and changed in leaps and bounds.

I am happy because I choose to be happy. It is my hope that you too, can choose to be happy.

052 poster

My circle of emotional support

Depression Blog

Some women have a few circles of emotional support: a small inner cluster of nearest and dearest, coupled with a network of close friends always there to love them the way they need to be loved. They’re dependable and familiar. I’m guessing that yet other women have an even wider outer circle of friends to fall back on when the need arises.

My circle of confidantes consists only of my  husband and our daughter. It’s enough, but it’s not enough. I still struggle.

I’m on the other side of the country at the  moment, giving an ailing friend some much needed TLC, but I don’t manage well all the time. When I fall in a heap away from the familiarity of my comfort zone, who do I turn to. Phone calls home to my loved-ones only go so far towards helping me on the road to recovery.

I’m sitting at a rustic wooden table in a quiet corner of a restaurant looking into a glass of wine, and nibbling on cheese and crackers. Alone. It’s less than ideal – drinking alone while gripped by stress. But ‘alone’ can be healing. Writing is also healing for me. Getting my thoughts out of my head starts the process of purging. Analysis. Recovery.

There’s a selection of taste sensations on my plate: quince jelly, delectable soft cheese, crunchy bread, and dried fruits that don’t have names. Delicious. Comfort food. The music’s soothing, yet uplifting. A few tears escape.

Self-compassion. I do what I must to avoid depression taking over. My best is all I can do, and some days my best is not as good as it might be on another day. I’m living authentically. This is my self-administered pep talk. Short and simple. This is ME, and I can not make apologies for the ME that I am.

Dessert. And a brisk walk home in the cool night air. No moonlight tonight. I manage a sort of a smile as a Magpie chortles, unseen.

…..And then… first light, Mary (a friend of a friend who I now regard as my friend) rang to check up on me – she predicted my dilemma. Hugs, coffee in the outdoors, much talking, and I’m now ready for the day. Bless Mary, she is a treasure, and I wish we didn’t live thousands of kilometres apart. The sun is pushing through the clouds, and the Magpies are still chortling.

036 poster